Politics Alabama

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This page was last updated: 31 May, 2012

The following is a satire submitted by Cindy Wright, and does not reflect the views or opinion of Politics Alabama.  To provide a satire submission of your own, click here.

An Open Letter To The Alabama Legislature

Well, it's that time of year again, and you are about to embark on your journey back to the Alabama Statehouse to fulfill your obligations to the Alabama citizens and taxpayers of this great state. Some of you will go "to serve" and some of you to "serve yourselves". It is to the latter that we address this message from the people.

For too long now we have remained quiet, and thereby not fulfilled "our obligation" to you. Please accept our apology for that. Although we are aware that our government is one that operates "for the people; by the people", we have failed to keep up our end of that deal. Yes, we know that we are required, as good citizens, to hold our representatives accountable for their actions- but we have failed. Well, that is all going to change as of now.

Since we have seen the "error" of our ways, let this message serve notice that we are about to make "amends" to you for our past behavior. No longer will we sit back and leave you all alone down there while you try and make laws that are "in our best interest". No, instead, we will get copies of proposed legislation and read it for you! That should take some of the burden off your shoulders- or off whoever has been reading the bills for you. This should be of particular help to those of you on the Ways and Means, Budget, and Constitutional Committees, as finding ways to spend all those millions can be trying and we understand that now. This should also free up some of your time that in the past was spent lunching with lobbyists, etc..

Next, we will hold press conferences to let the citizens know exactly what is going on- so you won't have to "suffer in silence" until the bills come up for a final vote. (by now you should be feeling better)

Lastly, we promise to call you on the phone, write you letters, broadcast your votes to the public and in general, keep our eyes fixed on both chambers of the Statehouse. No need to worry about getting the media to "paint your actions in a certain light"- we are going to illuminate your pathway for you!

In closing, remember, there is no need to "thank us" or even bribe us with a new park, road, etc., it is our privilege to perform these actions for you- in fact, it is our duty!

Your friends,

The Alabama Citizens

P.S.- Don't worry, "we won't forget", despite what some of your fellow lawmakers will say.